angie: sorry it took a while to answer. today im doing pretty bad. my arm is killing me. and i feel really really bad and low and sad and numb and just ugh. i dont know. everything is just a blur and it feels like im not and shouldnt be here anymore. everything hurts and everything seems bad. im just so sad. 
butterflying: yeah. i went yesterday. im also going to start going tuesdays now as well as saturdays. heres what happened:
i didnt tell her about my mom yet :/ i got too scared. but i told her more about cutting. and she said she thought it would be a good idea to tell my parents to not give them a reason to be mad for real. so she talked to them for a while about it and yeah. it was really scary. they didnt get mad there because i think she called them down a ton and stuff. they havent said one word to me though since. which feels almost worse. and then after they walked out and she had to give me this chart to track my moods and then she was really nice and i felt even worse. i dont know about it. i didnt tell her about half the stuff i was supposed to. actually not even close to half. so i dont know if i feel good about it or bad.
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"Though I laugh, and act like a clown, beneath this mask I am wearing a frown."
"My humor hides my pain but inside it still remains."
"No matter how far I run, I'll never be able to run far enough to get away from the memories you've left me with."
"I want to be left alone, but at the same time I don't..."
"Depression is like Quicksand. Its easy to fall deeper and hard to pull yourself out."
"I'm so lonely. Surrounded by people that know me but don't know a thing."
"Its like the world is trying to tell me that it doesn't need me anymore."
"Sometimes i look in the mirror and wish i could see nothing"
"I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying."
"This love, this hate, is burning me away."
"I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine for the very last time."
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