I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I can really, really relate to the baby thing. I have a 9 year old and my husband really, really wants a baby (my son isn't his "bio" son, but he loves him just the same). Anyway, I have gotten pregnant 2 times over the past year and both times I had a miscarriage. For a while I was absolutely obsessed with the idea that I had to have another baby because I'm now 34 and I don't have much time left. Well, after the miscarriage in Feb. I decided to let it go. I have examined it all and I think I was just feeling my hormones take over about wanting to have a baby and that I felt like I owed my husband a baby (and my son too really wants a baby) and I think I let all of that build into a pressure that made me feel like I HAD to have a baby. Not that my husband has been anything but kind, because he would not really ever truly pressure me, I mostly pressure myself because I think I know what he wants, etc. (As you can see, I'm a mess too!) Anyway, once I decided to let the baby thing go, its like this huge, huge burden has been lifted off of my chest. And I feel so much better about things. I don't feel like I am racing against time to hurry up and get pregnant. I don't know how to explain it. But I feel better. I'm not saying this to say you shouldn't want to have a baby. I guess I was just really relating to what you said and I wanted to share what I've been going through.

Definitely don't take the xanax. Your daughter would much rather have a "sick" mommy than no mommy at all. And just because you have a MI doesn't mean you are going to mess her up. I'm sure you are a great mom!