Hi musik...can I ask why you refused to go into the hospital? Have you had a bad experience with it or something? I know I used to be terrified of going into the hospital, but I've had to be there several times over the years and even though it isn't fun to be there, I do know that in the end it is a big help.

Also, you said you are taking extra meds to help you sleep...I have done that in the past and in the end it always backfired because I ended up becoming dependant on the extra dose to help me sleep, and eventually I would have to tell my pdoc and get lectured on the dangers of increasing dosage w/o doc approval, and then my meds would have to be completely re-adjusted all over again to get me back to the doses I should be on. If you are having trouble sleeping, I would recommend that you see your doc again and see if they can put you on a mild dose of sleep aid...you might only need it for awhile.

Anyhow, I do hope that you start to feel more stable soon, it sounds like you have a lot going on. Take care!!