This is all too much for me. We didn't go through with her staying over. The day she was meant to stay, she sent me a very abrupt text saying she wasn't coming. Knowing she can sometimes be a bit moody and mercurial, I just assumed she'd changed her mind.. and that she wasn't interested.

At the time, I was a little upset and disappointed. But I was also a little relieved...like I knew I was risking a lot by going through with this. So I decided to move on and treat my feelings for her as affirmation that I'm becoming more aware of my sexuality.

Well... the next time I saw her I just acted friendly, but put physical distance between us. She noticed and thought I was upset with her, so hugged and touched me a lot more that night (as much as you can in front of friends). I was so confused, because my feelings have changed.

She said we should have lunch later this week, which I think will be a good opportunity to just get everything out in the open, so I agreed. But today I spoke to her online, and she said she's taking me to lunch to a surprise place, and we have to meet at a specific place at 12.... this just seems like a date to me.

and now I'm freaking out. I odn't know how to handle this. I feel like a terrible person because my feeling towards her were very physical and sexual (and they've died down immensely.... probably because the excitement of it all has been replaced with REAL consieration). Yet it seems like her feelings are now romantic.. and i dunno. I feel like I've caused this... or that I should take responsibility for whatever hurt I will caused her.

Please help me. I'm seriously new to this