Hi Inky,

It is difficult but important to methodically begin to move away from poisonous people. It does not mean you lose (if any) the love you have for them. I love my mom (when she is the "good"mom) but I realized three years ago that she is poisonous for me and I had to move away. It's a similar situation in that she is always the victim and I was more like your sister and spent 20+ years striving to "fix it" for her. It's important to get away from this group, even if it's just to have some room to breathe and room to think straight. You can't make decisions for anyone else. We are all responsible for ourselves only. You can be an example by refusing to be the brunt of the manipulation. It really helped me to talk about it in therapy first. This is only my advice from personal experience. Please take only what you need from it. Good luck.