(((englishteacher))) I hear that you're very overwhelmed and searching for answers and solutions - but it's difficult to problem solve effectively when you're in the midst of a crisis. The best advice I can give you is 'never make important decisions when you're upset'. I understand you're tempted to leave to get relief but please hold off on that decision. Your 10 yr old needs you even though you think relatives could manage him - this would impact him greatly if you were to leave. I also recommend cutting out alcohol completely. Both my brothers mental illness symptoms got terribly worse when they drank. Do your best to take care of yourself before you make any important decisions. I hope you feel better.