(((((((((ickydog)))))))))))

I understand how you're feeling. Sometimes I miss it too, or the thrill of it or something about it, I'm not sure what. What specifically about it do you miss? I wonder if you could find a healthy way to get that. Like, maybe for me I wonder if flying down the hill as fast as I can go on my bike might replace that thrill. I'm hoping (after 17 days here) that I actually can finally give it up. Last time, after I came back to myself over a week later and it was just a memory, I felt so stupid about it. That hasn't happened before. It's like it was somebody else not me who wanted to do stuff like that to me, and I can't believe I wanted to do that.

I sure hope that it gets easier for you.