Well... I have a signed release authorizing me to get a copy of my mental health records. I hope I dont get caught up in red tape because it was an Inpatient Psych Ward. But when I get these files... I dont grasp what I can do to get them to overcome my discharge. I mean, unless I read somewhere "Patient has Bipolar and BPD, but we cant fix it so, just call it adjustment disorder."
I mean, obviously there is something to look for that will help you understand what they were thinking. I just dont know...

Or is it clues in my clildhood... Like I said...I do I figure out if what I think... actions I have done... are from childhood curiousity... or if they were just episodes of Bipolar and its symptoms running its course.

I mean... There are things I have done.... that.. I dont know if I could tell anyone else besides my wife. She does know, but they are things that.. if you blurt out... some look at you in a different light.... while others may relate.. That fear is something I know that if I can overcome, I will take a huge step in helping myslef, but that step is something not everyone can make.