Another crappy feeling day,
Too much to do and no motivation, no energy, no will to even try.
Im tired Im over this depression in a big way. I want to crawl into a hole and hide from everyone and everything that sees me hears me and wants anything from me. My counsellor tells me I am negative in my thinking what is there to be positive about. Noone likes me unless I can give or do for them. Noone visits or calls and asks what would I like or How am I. I have a job that cares for others and all they do is complain about everything and treat us all as if we are the slaves. Manners would be nice to hear sometimes. and a bit of respect for what we do. Most of the time I dont want to go anymore and thats another big worry for me because I have done this job for nearly thirty years and always loved it and the people I care for. Now I bottle all my resentment up and come home feeling lousy because I feel very negative about some of them.
And I dont feel well, but nobody hears me when I tell them. (Its all in my head) I hurt both inside and out. I could scream and cry and regularly do I must admit but nothing is relieved by it. Depression is my life it seems when will it let up? when will it release me from hell? what did I do to deserve it?.