My home group meeting. That I've not been to in 8 months. Actually, I've not been to a single AA meeting in 8 months, period!!

I ran into one of the men from the group on the bus, and he said I was missed and people worried how I was doing (I did drop off the face of the map, but they DO have my number so they couldve called ) ... so I went back tonight.

I really missed it.

I'm still struggling with trying to figure out whether or not I'm an alcoholic. I mean, I used alcohol inappropriately, yes. But I didn't become physiologically addicted. I DO have an addictive personality so I was addicted to it psychologically though...

I really miss it some days... other days, not so much.

I got the phone number of one of the nicest members in the group (he's awesome) so I have someone to call so I don't "isolate" again and drop off the face of the map.

I think I'm incorporating the weekly meeting back into my schedule. On top of the Al-Anon meeting I already attend on Wednesdays. At least AA will help me to have GOOD reasons to not drink! (Hearing peoples stories about what they've done or lost while intoxicated is sometimes amusing, sometimes sad, and sometimes really frightening!)

... Now if only I could find myself a sponsor, who could deal with all of the different parts of me - as a victim of abuse, an adult child of an alcoholic, a child of a dysfunctional family and one who uses bad coping mechanisms to deal with crap.