So 9 months ago I found out my husband had cheated on me (will spare the details for now!), we talked about it (and cried and shouted etc) and decided to stay together and work things out. My husband has done almost all of the right things - he disconnected from the woman (girl!), apologised to me, and is now being kind, buying me flowers, has been patient and reassuring when I have felt insecure. And I really appreciate it. He has heard what I have said to him. He has shown genuine remorse and a renewed commitment to our relationship. Now it seems like all is well. We are coming up for our 12th anniversary.
Only it isn't. I have occasional nightmares, very emotionally charged, where I discover he has been cheating on me like it's the first time all over again. In the most recent dream he was totally heartless and we were breaking up - I was even figuring out how to divide our assets! I also demanded total disclosure from him (in the dream) and he admitted it had been going for years. In waking life, this was a one off incident that lasted several months while he was traveling. But I have had doubts in the past and suspect there may be a prior incident - I have asked but insists there hasn't.
So the question is - did I move on too quickly? Could my dreams be residual unresolved anger? Should I talk about it? I am concerned if I do this may seem like I am "punishing" him and actually set us backwards - it seems like we are making such good progress. I don't want to be simply dwelling on the negative. I see myself as a very happy, positive, strong person, and believe I have the power to make my life better if I chose - and I do not chose sadness or the role of victim. I know marriages can survive infidelity and even come out stronger. I want that to be us. But maybe this is a kind of denial and I am just sweeping bigger issues under the rug? Should I just work on my own personal issues with these dreams, or do I need to drag him into my unresolved feelings? Thoughts?