I read what you wrote and I think of myself. I think of all the terrible things I've done when I am manic, and I know I was spiraling out of control too. So, just understand that you aren't alone. I've done some really stupid things like that and then didn't even realize what I had done (or the severity of it) until I had calmed down. If you feel that you are getting WAY outta hand then you should consider calling your doctor or even a crisis hotline if you need to. I hope you are doing better.

-Jennifer-