Hi englishteacher,
I was raised in such a way that it was very important that I go along with what everyone else wanted. I was taught; you do not argue, you do not express displeasure. I could approach my mom about her drinking but be told that I was the one who was misunderstanding things. Later, when I got into a relationship late in life I had to begin working on understanding my place in this new relationship. The begining was disasterous (what a way to start a new relationship) because I did not talk about my own needs. Everyone has needs. I moved out of my own place to be with this new person, I gave up everything I had and tried to go along with what this new person wanted. I thought this was how it was done. But I'll say a lot was not working for me. I stayed silent (what was there to say?) and had no idea how to communicate (express my needs, as well as listen) and I fell into the worst ever of my depression. I don't know if you can relate -- it's not that I knew I had needs but didn't express them. I just truly did not understand that it could be a give and take this way without leading to ruin. To this day I work on expressing my needs and listening to others as though I am learning a foreign language.
I mention my experience because I felt like I could relate to your giving up your school, job etc. for your relationship, and your family. I think sometimes a dynamic forms where you mostly do things centered around others. But a relationship will end up lopsided this way. The best thing you can do is to begin to listen to that small voice inside of you that is telling you what you need. From my own experience the best way to do it is with a therapist you can relate to. Some may differ with me no doubt, but in my opinion I think it's better if it's a woman. It would be crucial to ask, why did you feel that it was so important that you give up school or work? What would you have said to another woman who was in your position at the time? Would you have told her to give up her scholarship or the job that she enjoyed?