I agree with Bonaire. From the responses to this thread, I must be one of the few that has positive experiences with getting close. The fact is that I can't get to know someone without getting close. It is the time when I get to figure out if I am compatable with the person (male or female), & they get to figure out the same about me. If they choose not to make me part of their life, they have the same options I have with them. They take the same chance as I do....there fore I don't get hurt if their decision is different than mine.....it is not right to force myself into someones life if they don't want me there...& I really don't want them in my life if I am not compatable with them. What is the difference?

By not getting close, it would put me into a position where I don't grow & learn from others, even if it is for a short time....by protecting myself, I leave myself in my own little world.....without growth....without being inroduced to new ideas & feelings.....basically sheltering myself from the good & bad that can come from getting close to someone. As for needing.....I hate to need someone....I am independent & can take care of myself & I sure don't want to have to take care of someone else....that is a flag of a bad relationship & when it becomes noticable.....the end of the relationship.

Getting to truely know someone should be a positive experience....if I look at the good things that I can come away with by knowing the person rather than dwelling on the possibility of being hurt. IMO if I keep the positive attitude with me, I may actually find someone wonderful.....if I never take a chance, it will never happen.

Kinda like winning the lottery....If you don't play, you can't win.
Debbie