I've been severely depressed for weeks. It hit critical mass over the weekend. I'm coming back...slowly. I'm going to a support group tomorrow night. I'm trying to get better and find a way to get back on my meds.

But now my husband is a mess. I broke him with my depression and the stress of our lives. He came home yesterday shaking and crying and couldn't stop. I did my best to comfort him and taught him some deep breathing exercises that I've learned to comfort myself. He says he lost it at work and he's scared that he will lose his job. I tried to talk him down. Apparently creditors have been harrassing him daily at work, despite him telling them that he was at work and couldn't discuss it. They have been calling him several times a day and being very verbally abusive to him. He'd had enough yesterday and went to talk to lawyers he works with...they took care of the creditor, he says. However, he was angry and out of control. I don't know if his job is really in jeopardy. His boss knows that I've been depressed and suicidal. His boss knows that he's under a tremendous strain. He's been at work for 2 hours now. I hope that means he still has a job.

He went to work this morning, but he didn't want to. He says he feels weak and helpless. I empathize. My instinct is to stuff my own emotions and help him deal with his, but the only way I know how to do that is to put on a happy face. I can do it for a while, but it won't last. I'm still too close to the edge to be able to maintain that sort of facade.

I'm lost - now he's lost.