peaches,

I am so sorry that your parents were, and still ARE, so neglectful. I can feel the pressure to be forced into the role of "happy little girl" and how destructive that is. It sounds like your mother acts as if the world revolves around her, oblivious to the needs of her own daughter. It really makes sense that you struggle with having needs, and knowing how to get those needs met. Why not show your T exactly what you wrote here?

I do think it's wise to stop emailing your T. It seems all it really does is retraumatize you. Unless your expectations were lowered, and/or your t made an effort to respond better, it doesn't seem at all healthy to email.