so i truanted today. again. i just can't stand college anymore, the way i'm always on my own and the way people stare at me and how i can hear them saying stuff about me and laughing. i do photography, and i'm the only person doing it which means i haven't made any friends. i'm sometimes sent around to take pictures of things, and all i get is snide remarks like "you're supposed to buy things from the vending machine, not take pictures of it." or even when i don't have a camera with me, i'll get people shouting "say cheese" or "snap snap" behind me. it's getting to the point where i can't sleep at night, which makes me look rougher than ever - attracting more stares. i cried all night last night, begging my mum to let me stay at home. i couldn't bring myself to dry my hair because it symbolized having to go, and i smashed my head on the bathroom wall in vain hope that i'd pass out and get to stay at home. i don't want to quit, because i quit art and design and if i quit another course, they won't let me onto the media course next year. i'm hoping i make friends on that one, because if not, my future is officially over. it feels like everything is going wrong, and i feel like absolute rubbish all the time. i fear that if i have another manic freak-out last night... who knows what will happen. i'm in such a mess, what do i do?