This is going to look really stupid, but I am a mess right now.

Last night I was reading msnbc like I usually do...and I found an article about how there have been three possible suicides in the last week at the college I went to for my first degree. My college has an unfair reputation for being a suicide factory- there aren't any more there than the nationwide average.

When I was a senior there I almost became one of those suicides. The stress of stopping myself sent me into mania for the first time. Now I am having these awful flashbacks about my first major mood swing. I'm back to being the girl who nobody cares about, who nobody wanted to help. Nobody cared about her, and sometimes she wishes she didn't care about herself either.

I wish I could have told those kids something, anything.