It's so weird because I never went through with any SI until a couple of weeks ago. Last year, I was suicidal and I was making the inventory of things I could use to hurt/kill myself. It just seems that having those thoughts without any psysical fallout, i.e. I didn't get in trouble, the Earth didn't open up and swallow me, etc. allowed me to feel those thoughts were safe to have. Before that, the thoughts themselves were frightening enough to keep me from doing anything.

I am in close contact with my T and he know what is going on. When I get home we are going to continue working on where these thoughts/impulses are coming from.

In the meantime, I am going to enjoy my last two days of vacation.

Thanks for reading/responding.