First of all, I don't condone snooping around on other's computers unless there is a real suspicion of serious trouble, like infidelity, crime, etc.

Well, I had to go and break my own rule...a subject line in my wife's email box caught my eye and I gave in to my curiosity.

Turned out my wife had been griping to a mutual friend (wondering if "friend" belongs in quotes now) about our home problems, and how she was not getting any help from me on housework, kids, etc.

That is certainly a fair thing to gripe about. Until you consider my bipolar, my inflammatory bowel disease, my bum thyroid, AND the fact that I make well over 95% of the money, and handle all the finances. Honestly, my psychiatrist thinks it is amazing that I function at the level I do, given how bad my depressive times have been and how many meds I am on.

The "friend" does not know about these medical issues, which is fine with me (she is often running down other people and divulging private info, so I do not want her knowing mine). But, without any real knowledge of the situation, she proceeded to bash me and portray me as the kind of stereotypical knuckle-dragger who sits around drinking beer instead of helping.

And my wife didn't really defend me. She said I had a weak "aptitude" for these things and "low energy," and that she believed me "about 90%" that I really did not feel well.

Nice. So she thinks I'm lying about my condition the other 10% of the time.

Truth is, I feel AWFUL outside of work (and often at work, too). My docs have been working with me to get the meds to where I am not so godawful tired all the time. But it is incredibly frustrating! There is so much I want to do, and my mind and body do not want to go there. But I am trying! Having my wife and this "friend" imply otherwise is really hurtful.

To be fair, my wife has some depression (not nearly as bad as what I'm dealing with, based on what I hear from her pdoc and therapist), and I admit that I am definitely NOT Mr. Sunshine around the house a lot of times. But wouldn't you think she'd be more understanding, given her own familiarity with the illness?

Serves me right for looking at things that don't belong to me. But man. Sometimes people just really disappoint me.

Been mad about this all day. I don't think it would be fair for me to confront her about what was a private conversation (especially when they could have been talking about much worse things). I need to let it go.