A while ago a cousin of mine who I haven't seen in 20 odd years tracked me down via facebook. It turns out we live in the same city. We've been e-mailing and talking by phone, but she wants to get together, so we're meeting for coffee this Sat. Part of me wants to go, because it would be nice to feel like I have some family in town, and I remember liking her as a kid. BUT and this is a big BUT her older brother SA'd me from the time I was 7 to 11. I'm really worried that seeing her may trigger my PTSD which is already pretty active at the moment. Part of me thinks I should cancel, but I don't want my life to be constrained by my illness.

I am taking some precautions in case I am triggered - I've asked a friend to meet me to go to an AA meeting that night so I won't drink, and I've gotten rid of all my SI tools, so I won't cut.

I'm just really worried about how I'm going to react to seeing her in person.

--splitimage