I'm back. I sat/layed/writhed on the couch for an hour, crying and crying and crying with my face in his blanket. He sat quietly.

At the end he said that he was picturing me in a pool, with a big waterfall of ALL of these feelings pouring over me. I said I've worked and worked and worked so hard and I still dont' feel any better and something is WRONG with me. He said that maybe I did all of that work, and now here are the feelings, and after this will be the movement.

We'll see. I don't feel any better. I feel sad.