T said something to me this week that has helped me seperate the past from today. I had recreated something this week and it made me feel so depressed. I was talking to T about what it was and she said that I had re-traumatised myself and I can see I do it, but can't seem to stop it, its like the trauma is going round and round inside and I try to resolve it by doing something that intellectually I know will only compound the feelings and T said, I think the depression is your reaction to your mothers emotional abuse. At first It didnt mean anything, but as the week has gone on and I feel the feelings, the depression, It makes more sense. I;m not sure why your T doesnt see your depression, I think any one with a trauma history has depression, but T saying it like that, its my reaction to abuse, helps me understand. When the depression is more intense I see now its because the memorys without pictures are active within me. If seen like that, the question would be more, why aren't you depressed? so depression is a natural reaction to what we experienced. It doesnt feel good, but until we have talked the trauma out, it will continue.