Sometimes I feel "stupid" because I cared... when noone else did... like I shouldn't have wasted my time either???? (Cute comment Mat, I mean Babieca) It's tough, these feelings, in this realm, for me too. (I know, too many commas in that sentence.)

Just today I drove no, wait, I woke and rose EARLY so I go drive an hour south and meet for a volunteer effort, having been promised lunch afterwards... and... no one there was near as excited about the effort as I was (and remember, I'm clinically depressed) and then... they all got in their cars and left afterwards, the one having offered lunch saying, WELL I"M GOING HOME. I felt like THEY were all going to eat but didn't want me to know it??? So I felt stupid. I call it that. Generally I say, No we are not stupid. sigh.

Numbness is what I had to evoke to be able to drive home without a sadness meltdown. What a big let down... and noone knows how it affected me ( maybe the anger comes later on?) I mean, I usually only eat once a day and had planned to do it then and there, now I'm home without a plan and might end up not eating at all today. I know I'm not stupid, but I feel stupid for caring. Is that part of what you meant?