I had a lot of time to think and I was going to go ahead and keep the baby. I was going to move back home to my family in another state and raise the baby myself until I figured out what to do about the men. Only thing is I found out I had a miscarriage. I was happy to find that out, but why do I feel sad about it now? I miss the Newer man David so much when I am with my first love but when I was with David I was missing my first love too. It is like the grass is greener on the other side eachway. I feel maybe I dont deserve either of them. They are the only ones I would ever want to be with in life. I dont care for any other men.