Today I made a big decision. I am finally listening to my family and taking some time off work on disability to focus on getting better. My husband, my parents and my sister are all applauding, they have been trying to persuade me to do this for months. I have been filled with anxiety about what it might mean for my career, my reputation, etc. Today, I finally decided that my mental health means more than all of that.

I sent my boss an email and then I cried for an hour. I'm not sure why...I just cried and cried and cried. Then I sat on the couch all day and watched movies. Now I feel relieved with my decision.

Saturday, I am meeting a new T - haven't had any luck so far connecting with anyone I've tried but this one comes as a referral from someone I really trust and I've been on a waiting list so fingers crossed. I need help with my meds. I am on Cipralex (Lexapro) but it's not working. It's been 5 months and I still feel like crap. The sexual side effects are terrible but my husband has been wonderful about it. Hopefully without work I can now focus on me and getting better. I just want to feel good.

Just needed to get that off my chest...thanks for listening.