i am a recovering borderline and my partner has significant avp/schizoid traits

we have been together for about two and a half years, two of them living together, six months living apart

the relationship has been on off on off because of several long standing problems we don't seem to be able to lick

well i know what you are thinking... only a couple of problems... ! yeah, ok, craploads. we are like, opposites!

the things which tie us together are mutual intellects and mutual %#@&#! up-ness but there is a constant disparity on the emotional front, and while he is pulling away for self time, i'm getting clingy and needy. before you know it... boom

the sex thing is a problem too - he finds the intimacy of it difficult so he tends towards errrr, self pleasuring, rather than intercourse. while i want sex and don't get it.

anyway, despite the problems, we are still trying to strike a compromise and make it work. i am in therapy, and he is about to start therapy.

oh one other thing. he is a chronic marajiuana addict of fifteen years - he is going into therapy for this as much as the other stuff

ok so here is the question: what works for avp/schizoid personalities... because all my research suggests that it is very unresponsive to treatments?

i'm kinda hanging on thinking, therapy is a solution, the only thing that is allowing me to stay in this otherwise hopeless relationship

we really do care about each other, me more for him, obviously....

god i'm too tired to post this properly - i'm just waffling.

does anyone have experience of this situation? a bpd and a schizoid? and did you make it work? and if so, how?

i'm being an idiot aren't i? it can't work. i think. i just haven't faced up to it yet maybe.

???? (going to bed now)

thanks x