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ThePainNeverDies · Mar 19, 2010, 05:07 AM

I know that Connor and I had our issues before we split up and that we both did a lot wrong and just wouldn't accept and change what we were doing wrong. So, we had to split up. It was for the best...

It's been almost 3 weeks, which is the longest we've been apart for. We still see each other a little and talk, but it's just not the same. I'm supposed to be trying to recover and it's so much harder without him there. His parents won't let him get back together with me, they said that if he did decide to get back with me, they'd force us apart. I know they may dislike me because I hurt him, but they can't do that surely? Shouldn't they let him make his own decisions and accept that and we can work on my relationhsip with them as we as with him?

I miss him so, so much and it's os hard to just sleep at night, or eat like I'm supposed to be, according to my new food plan. It's even harder to get out of bed each day. I feel so unhappy deep down, but on the outside I'm happy, bubbly, bouncy. Work is my favourite place to be at the moment because it distracts me from everything and I have something to concentrate on.

But... Everytime I'm at home I find myself thinking about him, everytime we talk online, I end up crying throughout the conversation and feeling downright miserable. It aches so much and I know what he wants. He's said that he wants us to get back together but that we need to sort ourselves out first.

My counsellor has said that I need to create a bubble around myself. My Kirsten bubble. It is so ******* hard when so many people are asking for my help and when I tell them that I'm sorry and I need to concentrate on myself, on getting myself better. They put a sad face, or try to make me feel guilty in some way. Like I'm not allowed to help myself. I want to create this bubble, but how can I with people like that?

I'm finding this so hard... I just need advice on how to get through all of this.

Thanks /