Hi, Radien! Your bio indicates circumstances have forced you to mature quickly. Nevertheless, you haven't reached the point where you can act with real independence. That's an uncomfortable place in which to find oneself.

The "help" easily within reach (guidance counselor) is insufficient and/or unsuitable for you. Is there anyone in your school, teacher or counselor or administrator, with a background in psychology whom you could approach discreetly? Your needs are too important and serious to pay attention to the "rules"; whether or not that individual is "assigned" to you or your grade level or serves formally as a counselor is irrelevant. At the very least they might be able to refer you to someone else who may be able to help.

Wishing you the strength to carry on a bit longer!