First... <font color="red">((((((((((((((((((((Jen))))))))))))))))))))</font>
Second... I am not trying to take from your post in any shape or forum..but WOW reading your post brought me to tears. Im so sorry that your mind is working the way it is, Im so sorry for the discomfort that you face and the living nightmare that you go thru everyday. That may seem a bit extreme and flashy to express those words.. But to me, WOW You Jen have just made a major break thru in someones life. The words you wrote, its like they came from my mind...my thoughts...my feelings. Reading your post... It is what my post would of been to a fine T, thank you so much for making me see that someone else, somewhere else, is going thru the same things as me.
I am in the dark place right now of not getting out of bed, not seeing the light in the day, feeling of hopelessness and dispair and have no worthy or face value anymore, not even to my kids or hubby...(and NO thoughts of sucide either)but the guilt of not being there for them 100% of the time or anyone else who needs something for that matter...prevents me from being able to just shut down, let go and re-start.

Take Care,
sorry if I made this seem melodramatic and trying to make it about me.

Erin <font color="red"> </font> <font color="red"> </font> <font color="red"> </font>