(((((Peaches))))))

I'm really sorry that you're in pain and that the email issue keeps triggering you. Your mom sounds really tough to deal with and like your issues with her go back a long way -- good for you for figuring this out and I hope you can discuss it with your T.


This could be really important for you. I think my T would say that you need to grieve the loss of this relationship with your mom (and it sounds like you are). Your mom wasn't there for you and probably never will be in the way that you want her to. You deserved it and it sucks that you didn't get it. You are so right that your T can never fill that void in completely. She cannot be your total "answer" to that pain. But she can support you while you look for other ways to fill it in. That distinction can be painful, but maybe important.

As far as stopping the emails, it might be worth trying? I could see it as you taking control rather than putting yourself in a passive position over and over where you're waiting and let down (replaying the past). Taking that initiative for stopping the pain could be really good (especially if you don't do it in anger and chuck the whole T relationship, but merely change that boundary to something that works better for you). You taking active control of your journey and your healing -- well, that just sounds like it might be really empowering. Just my two cents. Hope you find something that works for you.