Searching for a good T is the hardest thing because I keep having to start from scratch. I tell my story (this is my 2nd round with depression) and cry and cry in the doctor's chair and then find out that it isn't working anyhow and I have to start over again. I am looking for someone to help me with coping strategies...when I asked my last T for advice on how to cope with a difficult boss and really tough circumstances at work, her BRILLIANT advice was "Keep your chin up." Literally. That's what she said to me. LOLOLOLOL Really???!!!??? How much do you get paid an hour to give me that gem? Then she told me it sounded like I was doing fine and to check in with her in another month or two. Needless to say, our relationship ended there.

I find that today, I am struggling. It is my second day officially off of work and I am so emotional, more than I have been for a while. Is that normal? This morning I opened up the dishwasher and found that there was no more room and we forgot to turn it on before bed and there were dishes in the sink that wouldn't fit and it caused me to start bawling and I just couldn't stop. Who cries over a damn dishwasher? And really, I know it's not the dishwasher, it's my messed up brain chemistry, but come on!!! I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way. Today is a bad day. And on top of everything, I have a migraine, which is pretty much par for the course when I feel this way. So, my agenda for the day so far has looked pretty much like yesterday...on the couch, watching tv in pjs.

So...focus on the good. It's my mother's birthday and my family is getting together tonight. I have three awesome sisters and a wonderful brother-in-law and we will all hang out tonight together at my parents. Everyone knows my situation and my decision about work and they are all so happy and supportive. So tonight will be good. I just need to get through four more hours till hubby gets home and we go to my parent's house. I will shower, run some errands, stay busy, surf the net, watch tv. Good plan, I think.

Man, this was quite the rant. But I do feel better.

Feddy