Peaches, your parents are what Joyce Meyers called "irregular people". They just don't even see what they have done, AND they aren't going to change. They couldn't nurture you and support you because of THEIR pathology, NOT YOURS. Nothing you could have done would have made things any different. That's just the way they are. Stop trying to make their behavior about you. It's not. Their behavior is totally about themselves (thus the reason your t calls them narcissistic). Beat this into your head. You can't change them. Nothing you do will change them. They are what they are. AND what they are has NOTHING to do with you.