((((peaches))))

I can feel your pain, and I'm sending you some support.

I don't know if this will help you, but it helped me come to terms with a mother who seemed to be a loving mom on the surface, but was never there for me emotionally.

I denied it. It must be me, not her.
I was furious. How dare she.
I was heartbroken. How can I not be 'good enough'?
I found compassion. She must be struggling herself. Maybe she was neglected as a child.

I finally landed at a place where I think of my mother as being sick. Much like an alcoholic, the addiction rules the mind. My mother does love me, but because of her sickness she is unable to see how her behavior is not loving.

Whenever my mind gets to the 'exploding point' of 'I cannot comprehend how this can be', I remind myself that an addict is sick, and sickness is not logical. Somehow this is comforting to me.

Please be kind and gentle with yourself.