Thank you Fuzzy. Your hugs are much appreciated and make me feel loved.

Pat,

I know what you mean. I am trying to make my strong side prevail and drag myself up outta bed because I know, keeping active and staying busy helps so much. I just wish is wasnt so hard. I will continue to post and I swear, starting Monday I am on the hunt for a T. I need one. Until then, I will post and/or journal because I know if I keep the feelings bottled up, I will be doomed

Erin,

(((((((((((((((((Erin))))))))))))))))))

No...thank you. Part of this disease is forgetting that others suffer in the same way. I lose sight of that mostly because I am consumed with myself and my thoughts and fears. Reading your reply makes me tear up because as much as I feel comfort in knowing you understand me, I feel sadness that yet another poor soul must endure this hell just as I do.

This is why I ask, who decides who suffers and who doesnt? I feel like in some way, this is payback for the hell I inflicted on someone in my life somewhere along the line.

I am so sorry your feeling this way too. Its a scary, lonley and confusing place to be.

Please, feel free to PM me. We could talk about it there or here. Which ever you prefer. Thank you again for your post. It wasnt at all meladramatic.

Hugs,

Jen