I went to the dr and he took about a gallon of blood. And gave me a prescription for Wellbutrin.

I talked to T on the phone for a little while, and he thinks I should try the wellbutrin. I asked him if he would take it if he were me and he hesitated before he answered and then he said "yes". So I said "NO YOU WOULDN'T" because he hesitated. But he said that he was trying to put himself in my place and think about it - that he is way more selfish than me and that he would never let himself feel the way I'm feeling, that he would already be on it.

If it wasn't for my kids, I think I would just try to muscle through. But I think I have to do this for them. I am just useless right now. I cried and cried this morning about having a load of laundry to fold. That is NOT even kind of like me.

I'm scared. I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing.

I'm scared.