Hello,
I suffer from this exceedingly strong feeling that the world is not real. That I am an experiment organised by a secret government institution. They are not all human. But the problem I am having at the minute is fighting the urge to act out aggressively. I keep thinking about hurting or attacking these 'people' because of what they have done to me. But I really don't want to hurt anyone. Regardless of how non-human they are. I hate violence. But these thoughts are obsessively taking over. I dream about going to peoples houses and killing them then saying, 'Well it doesn't matter this is not real'. I am so worried I am going to act on these thoughts and actually hurt someone. I was hospitalised seven weeks ago for stalking someone with a knife and when they confronted me I yelled that this wasn't happening they were not real. I was in a state at the time. I was released from hospital last week. Everything seems to be going downhill at the minute. I think I should talk to my CPN about this but what if they hospitalise me again...

How do I deal with this alone? Any advice?