cutbuddie, hi...
You've been trying to deal with so very much, and I hope some of it eases soon.

My experience with my pets are the same as yours and Rohag...I needed time to grieve for each one of them.
They were my confidantes...

Dealing with rape and the aftermath is one of the hardest thiings for us to work through...I hope you are in therapy or at least in some type of support group. My support group was my greatest source of encouragement but also where I felt safe.

Please keep posting..

Catherine