thanks for your help everyone, much appreciated! I do really believe I have a good guy, but I think maybe he has his own unresolved issues still. Getting him to counseling would be impossible - he works so hard I can't even spend a weekend with him! We agreed we are working towards a goal together, but he works so much it doesn't feel "together" anymore. His work complicates the issue - it a another reason not to address anything. He is always too busy or too tired. Or so he says. Really I think it's just an excuse to not face up to what caused the problem in the first place. Maybe I haven't really forgiven him. I know I feel like something is missing, maybe it's him, maybe it's me. Maybe we are so keen to be happy we won't admit anything is wrong, or maybe nothing is wrong and all we need is some time together away from work to address these things. Who knows. I will try and talk to him again, and then if nothing changes, I don't know how long I can just go along pretending everything is fine. Maybe it just needs time and patience. Maybe it needs me to confront him or leave him. I don't know. I guess I'll just see how it goes! Thanks everyone. xx