(((((Peaches)))) Im just catching up here. Your mom, as a narcisist, cares little about the people at the nursing home and probably cared little (though maybe some) about your inner life and feelings. If it was something that made her uncomfortable or something that required action or empathy on her part, she ignored it. She didnt feel that it was her respoonsibility. She doesnt seem to have the empathy it takes to want to help where help is needed. And that attitude probably included you. It was too messy for her to be concerned with the neighbor or your hospitalizato- even it it was her own child. Her concern is herself and keeping the status quo for herself.

I had a mother who also was a leader and won all kinds of awards. She was the center of attention and loved it. It was more important than her children or anything else. The attention she got from others. She could NOT see anything from another person's point of view and if their point of view/problem hit her in the face,she turned her face.

Nothing has ever been terribly wrong with you. You grew up the child of a narcisist. Where her world and how she behaves is so vague and subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) that it is all deniable. Everyone loves her because on the outside it looks like she is saying and doing the right things. They dont see what you see.

(((((Peaches))))) I grew up this way, too. I hope you come back to PC soon. Read aobut narcissitic mothers on the internet. Google "Narcissistic Mother article by Chris" and I think a good article should come up. It describes the mother you are describing here.