Hello & Welcome, Wantingtodie!

Yes, there is hope and things can get better. As a depression sufferer, however, it may be difficult or impossible to feel the hope that exists.

Many of us here cannot handle this illness on our own. We're in various stages of seeking help or managing depression. Some (many?) of the posters here have reached high levels of functioning and even emerged on the other side of depression.

It doesn't sound as if you are in a good place to obtain expensive treatment. Nevertheless, you have options. Check the crisis and other resources sections here. If you are in the USA, here are some possibilities:

United Way / AIRS Home – 211.org
211.org Call Center Search
Feeding America
NeedyMeds
US Department of Housing and Urban Development, Homeless Resources
US Department of Housing and Urban Development, General Resources

State Departments of Human Services (different states use slightly different terms):

Department of Social Services (DSS)
Department of Human Services (DHS)
Department of Health and Social Services (DHSS)
Department of Social and Health Services (DSHS)
Health & Human Services Commission (HHSC)