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so sorry you going through this..........do you have a Therapist can you call them? call a hotline and talk to someone...........but dont cut when your this upset.........that is one promise I made to my Shrink and my T that I will not cut in ANGER or WHEN I feel I want to end it all..........I would call them first or call the hotline or go to the emergency room..........you need a break...........you did nothing wrong from I see.........you told a joke and there is nothing wrong with that.....if she got hurt by something you said that is about her......you cannot let her feelings determine how you feel.........if you know you did not mean to hurt her and you like her then she is the one with the problem...please try to think it that way....but please do not cut when your in this kind of stress....I am talking from experience and I do not want you to go there....
please take care and keep posting and get your feelings out ...we all here are listening and care about you....xoxoxoooxoxo