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please don't cut when you are emotionally in the shape you are in. Is there someone you can contact? Therapist, pdoc, good friend and talk it thorugh. Give yourself some time and then see how you feel. Please wait until you are rational.

I am sorry your fathers g/f did not take your joke kindly. It is not your fault that she got upset it is hers. Don't let her emotions rule yours.

It is no wonder if you are upset if you are expected to be perfect. That is an unrealistic standard and please try and not let it hurt you. Just do your best.

There are people here to listen. Please feel free to contact me anytime. Take care of yourself. Try and be kind to yourself.