Thanks,

I was reflecting with my brother, and by his count I should have better luck... A married woman, a lesbian, and an otherwise attached woman has been my recent record.

The married woman was looking for something extra, and I am not that person. The lesbian was attempting men again, but still lived and shared a room with her "ex", I am looking for intimacy but not in a shared experience. I may have joked about it with friends, but at my core I would not go through with it.

As I look for trust, all I find are people that appear to not be trustworthy. I need something in my life.. but I do not want to devalue myself in the process... god knows I judge myself more harshly than anyone else ever could.

My sister sits at an interesting crossroad. It has been helpful reconnecting, and extending my support group. She actually seems to get me which is a relief. She also did not try to offer excuses for the past which meant more than anything. She apologized which helped me to start making my self vulnerable.

As for what my next move is, I cannot let the situation now just rest. I owe it to myself to make clear what I feel about the situation... As my brother related to me, he introduced his wife in much the same way to who was about to be ex due to basic incompatibilities in the relationship.

I just need to approach it lightly. She sent mixed signals, but did she actually mean to. It also would not hurt to have a female friend in my life.

Mind you my friends and family all agree that there would be some value in continuing. My dad told me some stories about various relationships. I can trust my dad because he witnessed what he thought was obvious, and my uncle who was there also were surprised by the situation.

Before I do anything I need to take a step back. I do not want to analyze, but listen to what my body says as my mind seems to have held me back to this point.