My mom is gone 4 years on Monday and I feel like it was yesterday. I don't know why, or if my siblings feel the same way because we are estranged now because of things that happened when my mom got sick and then when she died. I feel very alone and I miss my mom. I also feel guilty that I didn't do as much as I feel I should have while she was alive. This is torture, the feelings. Right now I am sitting here alone and crying. I don't know how to get pass this and stop letting it get to me as much as it does. When will it get better???