I'm sorry your going through all of this and feel this way. I hope it gets better for you. That's all I can really say because I know I don't have the words to be able to help you feel better. We are here for you though and if you ever need anything at all you can pm me. I'm usually on most of the time but if I'm away I will get back to you as soon as I get on here. I may not know what to say but I am a good listener. I wish you the best and hope things get better for you. Hugs ( if ok )