I have just joined this support group because I am finally facing the facts of my mental illness. I am 52 yrs old and have had episodes of instability since I was 14. I recently found out that my brother was diagnosed with bipolar 4 yrs ago. My mother shot herself in June of last year and I have always known that we both suffered from depression. I tried to get my mother to the doctor years ago but she became paranoid and freaked out. I have not been treated by a doctor yet because of issues of no insurance. I just had a manic episode 2 days ago and I am truly at a loss.

I, too, can't wait to go to bed at night but when I get there, I can't sleep and then I worry about what I am going to do to get through the next day. I haven't been able to sleep or eat for a week. I know that I will get through this but why does it have to be so painful?

Thanks for letting me vent.