For the most part, I still struggle to accept abuse that happened in the past... But what I have noticed is that, as my brother got his life together and began to find success, I became more resentful towards him. I would say that I am more afraid and more angry at him now than I was when he was abusive towards me... When he was a failure, I could hold myself together pretty well. Now I'm the "bad guy." Now I find myself denying everything when, before, I just wanted someone to believe me. Now I hate myself because I can't just be happy for him like the rest of my family... My family just tells me that I'm overreacting, and for once I'm actually starting to believe them...

Any suggestions? I hate being stuck between trying to reconnect with him and abhorring him... I just wish none of this ever happened.