Building up to a climax that never comes. Falling to despair as you obsess with the failure. Knowing that she is listening to your thoughts, and convinced you know hers. Standing up, and never saying a word depressed that she crossed the room, knowing it is your repulsiveness. Convinced she saw the darkest secret you think is real. But I am superman, and can do anything... however I am tired, and want nothing to do with the world. I hate myself, I am a horrible person. I can't slow down, my thoughts race with images, voices.. altered perception. Drugs, straight jacket, chemical shackles. Lock me up.. hold me down. I am afraid.

Everything is good now. I'm on top of the world. I am going to be the first one to walk on Mars. The program is just waiting to bring me in, I should train. Exercise, clean, move, destroy, slipping darkness. I can control your mind. Do what I want, damn you for not doing what I need to have done. I hate you, and cant live without you.

What was I thinking. I feel normal, not over or under. I don't need meds anymore.