I just wanted to tell you that I understand. I lost my mother when I was 11. Sunday will be the 20th anniversary of her death. I still mourn her loss and sometimes I miss her as if I lost her only yesterday. After her passing, I also lost many friends and years later, found myself estranged from my family because of the different ways that we all coped with her death. In my case, after my first battle with depression and a lot of therapy, we were able to work through it and I now have a wonderful relationship with my father, step-mother and sisters. Now they, along with my husband, are my biggest support network as I move through my second battle with depression.

But, I also struggled with estrangement from friends and family and a feeling that I would never overcome the grief and depression. It is a process that you continue to move through forever but it does get better with time. As I approach my mother's 20th anniversary, I am filled partly with saddness but more with love.

I would ask the same question that others who have posted have asked - are you seeing a therapist and are you taking any meds to help you? These are things you should consider if you are not, as they have really helped me (and are helping me again.)

I understand what you are feeling and my heart goes out to you.

Feddy